Is this really the type of life you want to be living? 

I’m writing because I’m upset and angry.. so I’m not going to promise that this post will make sense and I applogise in advance for how ranty this will be…

So to get why I’m so angry you first have to understand my situation. I’m in that weird stage of waiting for my monthly pay from my old job as well as waiting on my wages from my new job but I have to first work a week in hand. 

So basically I have no money. 

I had to ask Cole for my train fares for the week which is something I hate doing especially when his money is so tight as well. On top of this I’m skipping lunches while I’m working because I can’t afford to to eat with my colleges. On top of that I just had to fork out a fiver for some passport pictures for said new job so now I’m going to be struggling for train fares again. 

Now after a day like this I rang mum for some moral support, a pep talk a you can do this kind of chat.. instead I get, ‘is this really the style of life you’re choosing?’ 

Of course I’m not choosing this kind of life? You think I enjoy struggling to pay my bills, stressing about being able to make it to work on time, having to work up the courage to ask people I love for money because I don’t know what else I’m going to do? Of course not! 

Yes, I should have got this job sooner and no I don’t think my savings will be as big as they should be for when I want to move away.. and yes I’m still going to use my savings and go traveling because I don’t want a life where I’m working all day every day and never getting time to live! I want to experience the world and if that means I have to save and get by like this fine! I believe everything will work out in the end and don’t think for a minute you get to judge my life on these stressful, upsetting and hard few weeks of my life. Because that’s what they are.. a few weeks.. in a few months I’ll have forgotten them while I’m in another country experiencing their culture. 

Some people want money, some people want fame. I just want to be happy living life with Cole to the fullest we can, while we can. 

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